Sunday, November 22, 2009

What an End!!!

My husband is officially off of work. Off the traveling side until February. But off of work. It is his vacation time. The last 10+ months...have been a a whirlwind to say the least!!!

Most people's work year starts in January. His starts in February. Most people work throughout the year, in 1 place. He travels for over 10 months out of the year. This year, has brought so much. We got married weeks into his work schedule. We planned on a summer Honeymoon. We never took it though. Late in the spring, I miscarried our baby. A baby we never knew about, until it was too late. Then we separated in the early summer.

This has been such a tough year. And a year that has been up and down for him, both in work and in personal life. There were so many changes going on. We separated. I returned to working. And living on my own. I got most of my information about PH from coworkers and my bestie. It was so tough.

But tonight, his work is over. This year, in terms of work, is over. For him. And it is time to figure out where the 2 of us go from here. I don't want to go and hunt him down immediately. But, he is done with work. I hear he is going to go spend some time with his sister and go on a hunting trip with his buddies. But, we need to talk. And figure out the next move for us.

I can't continue to live like this. I can't continue to not talk to him. But love him this much. We can't live separate lives and still be married. To still be committed to one another, but not talk to each other. This is not working the way it is. And we need to fix it. Whether we go forward together and work at our marriage. Or if we decide to part ways and get divorced. We have a few short weeks to decide, before he is back on the road. And we need to make some serious changes. XOXO