They Cuddle

I was reading through my bestie and D's tweets earlier today. They make me sick, but in a good way. Life right now, is not being too kind to them. Not as a pair, but individually. But they stick together like glue. Instead of running away from each other, they cuddle up together. They take the time out of their day, to remember each other. To spend a few moments together. Wrapped up in each other's arms.

The thing that I miss most about my husband, is cuddling. We used to fall asleep wrapped up in each other's arms. I used to wake up, with his arm tightly wrapped around my waist or my back. I miss that. I miss that more than you can imagine!!! I miss watching TV, snuggled into him. Hearing his heartbeat. Smelling his cologne. I miss him. I miss our snuggling.

There was just something about those tweets that made me think of PH. Think of how many times a day we would wrap ourselves up together. Just to hangout. Maybe to watch TV. Whatever. We would snuggle up together. And I miss that. I miss him being right here with me. I wish we would have been more like our friends. Would have cuddled up together, instead of run away from one another, when times got rough. XOXO

Who Would Have Thought?

Tonight I went to Target. It had been a long and hard day at work. Something that I don't complain about. I like working hard. It makes me feel important, needed. But after work, I was beat. I needed a few things and planned a quick trip to Target, then to pick up something to eat. I figured I would veg out on the couch and watch all the good shows on ABC.

But when I got to Target, I got side tracked. Things caught my eye. Things I would never have expected. Baby stuff. I browsed through the baby department for over an hour. Just thinking. Thinking about what might have been. By now, I would be in the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy. Would PH and I still be happy? Would we be excited for our baby to come? Would we be ready to be parents? Would the baby be a boy or a girl?

I sat there for a long time wondering all of these things. Thinking about PH. Wondering what he was doing at this very moment in time. Does he ever think of the baby we lost? Or is it too hard for him? Will we make it? Will the 2 of us ever be able to put all of this past us? Or are we destined to repeat our parents' patterns? And end up divorced...

I can't help but wonder how different my life would be right now. If only our baby had survived. If only we had known. I miss our baby. Because for a brief moment in time, I knew about this baby, that my husband and I had made out of love. I fell in love with our precious baby. And I hope that our Little Angel will help his/her parents, to find their way back to one another. XOXO

Sunday Surprise

When I was little, my mom used to buy Nestle Banana flavored powder. From the Price Club. The HUGE can! You mix it with milk. It's just like having strawberry milk. But it's banana flavored. I LOVED the stuff! I used to drink it all the time. I wasn't a chocolate milk kinda kid. That was my brother.

I liked banana milk. I used to have it after school. And when I would get upset. During my parents' divorce, I drank my way through cans of the stuff! As I got older, it was still my "go to" when I was upset. I would pull out the can and the biggest glass I could find. That was my thing. Then a couple of years ago, I couldn't find it at the store. I was upset. I searched everywhere. I never found it!

Today, I needed some groceries. Mostly just my oatmeal, tuna, crackers, etc. I am really trying to turn a new leaf here. As I was searching for some things that my bestie told me to try, I found it! My banana flavored powder. The stuff I have always loved! It wasn't in a can, like in the good old days. It was in a plastic tub. But who cares? I found it!

But I bought it. And I was so excited to come home and try it. As soon as I got in the door, I poured me some milk. Added my banana powder and just fell back in love again! I'm so glad that I found it. I know it sounds childish. But this is my "go to." I could have used it 4 months ago. But I am just happy to have found it! XOXO