Costco Shopping

I have the entire week off. And I don't know what to do with myself. Today, I decided to go to Costco. When I was little, it was a favorite of mine. We would go 2X's a month. And stock up on food. My mom didn't cook. We lived off of frozen food, sandwiches, and takeout. No lie! Costco was were we went for all of our food. I grew up eating frozen chicken and drinking Kool-Aid (punch flavor) by the gallon. For lunch, I always had fruit snacks and mini juices.

As an adult, I missed going to Costco. But I didn't have the money. I didn't have the money for a membership. Or to buy the food. Who can really afford to buy those big packs of toilet paper and trail mix when you work at a dry cleaners? I couldn't. I did without Costco until last year.

Last year, PH and I were talking one night. I was telling him about Costco. How I loved to go eat all the free samples. He had no clue what I was talking about. What? How could you not know about Costco? Even I knew about it! And I grew up in the desert SW. Where we don't get good stores! The next day, we looked for our nearest Costco. We became members. I think PH tried every sample there! We bought so much stuff. I think he bought everything we had sampled! We almost couldn't fit it all into the truck!!! I couldn't believe it. I think we spent $2500. On toilet paper, food, a bike, bath towels, and some jeans. It was ridiculous!!! But it was the 1st time PH had ever been there.

After that, we didn't quite spend so much money. We probably went together every 6 weeks. I would go every 2 weeks. I can't cook, but PH did the cooking. I would shop for most of our food at Costco. Buy all of our paper stuff there. And our snacks. That kind of thing.

Well, since we separated in June, I haven't gone but once. Because a pack of toilet paper, lasts a long time. 1 person can't use all of that! And food, well I don't cook. I can buy what I eat, at the local grocery store. But I have the next week off. And my supplies is starting to go down. I decided to go to Costco today.

I got there when it opened. And I stayed until 4PM!!! I ate and ate samples. I bought lots of things. I have so much baked goods, I think I might have to freeze them. I need to call my bestie 1st to find out how to do that. My pantry is stocked with giant boxes of cereal and bags of popcorn as big as me. I also have those gallon containers of Kool-Aid and lemonade. I bought some gum and candy. A bag of apples. The gallon size shampoo and conditioner. I even bout 2 books.

It is all finally put away. And I feel good. Today was the start of my vacation. I couldn't think of a better way to spend it. Shopping through that concrete warehouse. I also have a hot pizza. Waiting to be eaten! I just love Costco pizza! XOXO

Casanova and Christmas Lists

I have never seen the movie Casanova. It was coming out on TV earlier. So I sat and watched it. It is a really good movie. I just wonder, why did it take me this long to watch it? I want to go buy it now. Funny how you find movies like this when you're not even looking. But I am glad that I was doing that mindless TV surfing this afternoon.

Tonight, I am sitting here trying to write out a Christmas list. My mom doesn't talk to me anymore. She pretty much disowned me when PH and I started dating. Because she couldn't understand how a man like him, could love me. Like I was not worthy enough to be loved by someone who is financially together. Who makes more money in one week, than she does all year. Believe me, I can't understand it either. But to be honest her, she has resented me all my life. Like I was the reason for all her problems. This was just an excuse for her not to talk to me anymore.

But she still doesn't talk to me. And because she rules the rest of my family, they don't talk to me either. I don't much care. Except I miss my little brother and my grandma. I wish I could send them a gift. Or help them out. Now that I am financially taken care of, I want to help them out. But I can't. My dad, well we don't talk. I had a rough childhood. He was nowhere near "Father of the Year." And after the divorce, he just didn't really care. We didn't get along. And he was all of a sudden, off the hook. He not only moved a few 1000 miles away. We pretty much stopped talking.

That leaves my friends. My close friends, the ones that I had from the time we moved out here, until me and PH started dating, they don't talk to me. They came out and told me that I am not "worthy enough to be with PH." WTF does that mean? I thought they would be happy for me. But they're not.

My Christmas list does have a lot of really sweet people on it. I have been lucky to have the best bestie in the world!!! For over 21 years, we have been as "thick as thieves." Along the way, we lost touch for a few years. It was bound to happen. We lived on separate ends of the USA. But we found our way back. And for the last 2 years, there is no one else that I can turn to more. She has been right by my side through it all. Falling in love, getting married, losing my baby, and the separation. She is right here. I couldn't find a better friend!!!

And of course there is D. He is an incredible guy. He really stepped up after the separation. He helped move me into my house, let me work for him, and even deals with my meltdowns at work. He is a good guy.

Count so far...2...I wish it was 4!

There are also all the amazing people that I have met in the last 2 years. But that I have really leaned on, in the last 6 months. LJ is so high up there. I look at her as a mom. Her daughter, and granddaughters also top the list. The amazing ladies I work with. PH's housekeeper. Friends and coworkers.

Count 6...plus an army of friends!!!

Then there is PH. What do I do? We are married...but separated. Legally bound. But so far apart. I want to get him something. But I don't know what. What is too much? What is not enough? What is appropriate? I don't know any of those answers! I wish I did!!! I put his name down...then scratched it out. 10 times!!! I guess I just need to figure it out. XOXO

Sunday Surprise

When I was little, my mom used to buy Nestle Banana flavored powder. From the Price Club. The HUGE can! You mix it with milk. It's just like having strawberry milk. But it's banana flavored. I LOVED the stuff! I used to drink it all the time. I wasn't a chocolate milk kinda kid. That was my brother.

I liked banana milk. I used to have it after school. And when I would get upset. During my parents' divorce, I drank my way through cans of the stuff! As I got older, it was still my "go to" when I was upset. I would pull out the can and the biggest glass I could find. That was my thing. Then a couple of years ago, I couldn't find it at the store. I was upset. I searched everywhere. I never found it!

Today, I needed some groceries. Mostly just my oatmeal, tuna, crackers, etc. I am really trying to turn a new leaf here. As I was searching for some things that my bestie told me to try, I found it! My banana flavored powder. The stuff I have always loved! It wasn't in a can, like in the good old days. It was in a plastic tub. But who cares? I found it!

But I bought it. And I was so excited to come home and try it. As soon as I got in the door, I poured me some milk. Added my banana powder and just fell back in love again! I'm so glad that I found it. I know it sounds childish. But this is my "go to." I could have used it 4 months ago. But I am just happy to have found it! XOXO

Round 2

It was another "It's freezing balls out here!" kind of night, last night! We all went to this event. And I swear, I thought I was going to turn into an icicle. My bestie couldn't take it, and before I knew it, we were in D's "City Condo." Ya, because he lives in BFE, he has a condo "in the city." For days like that.

We just hung out. Waited for the guys to do their thing. Because my bestie was performing again. At like 11PM. Insanity I tell you! I don't know whose job is crazier, D's PH's, or my bestie's. They had another great performance. We did another round of dancing. Nothing like the night before. I think D was trying to be a good boy. Ya, he was! At 3:30 in the AM, we decide to leave. Everyone piles into the cars, and we caravan the heck out of there. Because D is awesome like that, we had 10 or so cars with drivers. Nobody had to drive!

On the way to BFE, aka D's house, we make a stop at CVS. Ya, at 3:30AM! To buy what you ask? Crap! My bestie needed some Carmex and chocolate. Don't tell me D didn't have a tube of Carmex or some chocolate at his house. But we stopped. My bestie also ended up buying some conditioner for her hair, a nail polish, and some gum. D got some Carmex, chips, and a bag of mixed Halloween candy. Am I serious? Damn right I am!

There was actually a lot of people in that place! We counted 12 separate people buying things. Including my bestie's friends. A fun couple. He is the director of the band, she is my bestie's makeup artist/hair stylist. Some people had someone else with them, like this couple. But there were 12 people standing there to make their purchases. 10 were buying condoms! Not my bestie. Not D. Come on folks! I should have just bought them some. Maybe that would have pushed one or the other over the line. Started some real fireworks!

We all made it back to D's house. My bestie made breakfast for everyone! Which I have to admit, was very nice! It had been a long night. And that was the perfect way to end it. Just hanging around eating pancakes. I had to laugh when I saw one of the guys eating pancakes and drinking a beer. Only at 4AM in BFE! Doesn't get much better than that! This is love people! XOXO

Making it a Home

I have a secret. I'm not good when it comes to decorating. My bestie gave me all these wonderful tips and tried to help me when I first moved into my house. But I didn't do so well. Even with her help. Because she left me to do certain things. And well, I didn't do them. I still have boxes and boxes of things. I only pull things out as I need them. It is pretty pathetic!

You see, when PH and I first moved in together, he lived in your typical bachelor pad. And I had no problem with it. It was a house that D owned. A place that PH was just happy to be living in. Nothing special. But it wasn't awful. We had what we needed. And then some...

Then PH decided to have a house built for us. A few months ago we moved in. Had no furniture. And we seeked the help of my bestie. A brilliant interior decorator. I keep telling her, that is her call in life. Interior design. Oh and making beautiful babies with D. I think they would have some cute kids! If she would just listen to me. I know he would be more than happy to participate in that!

Back on track here. My bestie helped us. Asked us what kinds of things we liked. Took us each shopping with her. And before we knew it, we had this beautiful home! Gorgeous! Everything just went together. It was not matchy, matchy. But it was just our style. We loved everything about the house! The furniture was perfect! We had everything we needed. And everything we could ever want or need!

After PH and I hit our rough patch, I decided to move out. He did too. It is ridiculous that our gorgeous house is lonely! But it is. I moved to another property that D owns. A condo. PH moved back into D's other house, that we once lived in. But I got the condo. A rather blah place. White walls, beige carpet, white and beige walls. But it was close to where I work. And I haven't really cared about what it looks like inside. Or even if I have everything that I need to have. D won't take any rent money. And I have been too depressed to even consider shopping.

But my bestie and I went shopping today. Because I only had to work for a few hours during the day. Then I work tonight. Same schedule as my bestie! I asked her if it was OK that we do some shopping for my house. D was kind enough to even let me use his old furniture when I moved into the condo. So nothing in the condo was really mine. I didn't mind. But I had saved like 80% of my pay. And now I wanted to spent it.

In reality, I don't know how long I will be living here. Or even if this is going to be a permanent separation for PH and I. But I am tired of coming home to find boxes. Literally, I have been living out of them. Ya, D and my bestie tried to help me a while back. But I had promised each of them that I would empty the boxes. Instead, they have sat there. And I felt like I was just camping out on my friend's couch.

I know my bestie talked to D before this week. Because bright and early this morning, painters were at my door. Every room was repainted to colors that I like. And my bestie and I were gone shopping. We shopped before and after her performance this afternoon. She is super good at this. But I think she had gotten a head start on some of the stuff. Like most of the furniture. And like 2 bandits, we made our way through Target, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and eventually Wal-Mart.

Everything that you can imagine, we bought. We started this morning at the furniture store. My bestie taking pictures of the things we bought. Then she systematically worked through the rooms of my house. Making sure I had pots and pans, enough towels, curtains, rugs, and even little blankets to snuggle on the couch with. We bought picture frames, mirrors, and vases. You name it, we bought it! I am tired just thinking about it all again!

But she has another show tonight. So we just dropped everything off at my place. The furniture will be delivered in the morning. And she promised that by Wednesday, everything will be in it's place! I believe her. Because she is anal like that. And I know that she wants for me to feel at home there. So does D. And I have to be grateful to both of them for everything! Including D letting me stay at his house tonight. With everyone else that is bunking there! XOXO